Blind Rage

There are times when the bite of anger is so real and so piercing, that my only response is to rant and write.

On December 16th in New Delhi, India a 23-year-old female physiotherapy student was gang raped.

Today she died of the injuries sustained during that rape.

And I am in a blind rage. I rage at the men – the perpetrators of this act. I rage at the police, the collaborators by making the woman feel as though she was in the wrong, I rage at a world that allows this to happen. I grow sick as I think of the event, nauseated as I hear her screams in my mind.

More than anything I weep. I’ve been following the story, desperately hoping for a good outcome, desperately praying for a miracle.

But early morning in a hospital in Singapore where she was flown to receive treatment this woman, this young woman student with her life ahead of her, died, surrounded by her family.

I am caught once again between two worlds – the world I see around me shouts of evil, sin, broken systems, political oppression, power, rape, horror; the other world whispers that we are made for something so much better, created for so much more, made in the image of God to glorify Him.

My Christmas tree twinkles bright lights, Oxford carols are playing on a near broken CD player, I try and shield myself from the horror I feel.

And my blind rage is because I feel caught between these two, knowing I am not innocent myself, longing for wrong to be made right, wishing that this woman was home safe eating a curry with her family. And I wonder did the love of God reach down to her particular Hell?

They say she died “peacefully”.

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9 thoughts on “Blind Rage

  1. These are the moments I’m thankful for the liturgical calendar and the seasons of “Advent” and “Lent”. In short: formation. Advent is celebrated in nearly an opposite way as the Christmas season, which can make it challenging. I decorate in dark blues, do a little fasting and really contemplate the ways in which the world is not the way God wants it. It is like Lent. And I need these moments of protest and lament. My heart resonates with them.

    Then on the first day of Christmas: Blammo! Up go all the fun colors and the celebrating begins. And seeing that we spent four weeks in a penitent mode, it is good to take a full 12 days to really celebrate. The fact that it ends on Epiphany is also key to go into ordinary time “realizing” Christ, or being made aware of where God *is* at work in the world. It also makes me keenly aware of where I need to ‘BE’ Christ in the world. It really has shaped my experience of the holiday.

    Also, as one with no family occasions (birthdays or anniversaries etc. because I’m single and childless) it helps to keep me from getting lost in time and despair.

    So…. I guess I’m rather clumsily saying: Take a long hard look at the circumstances that allowed this horror to occur: sexism, classism, misinformation, abuse, etc.–the things of the world when aren’t the way they should be. But know that Christmas comes: time for the Incarnation! Time to be Christ in the world.

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  2. I deliberately did not follow this story. I heard it flitter across my radar but I chose to not learn more. My heart felt like it couldn’t take any more grief…. But now, with this young woman’s death….I cannot push it aside any longer. This is an unbelievable outrage. Devastating. Having lived in India for 13 years I feel I know her. I know her family…. Or I know similar families with young daughters. A friend recently posted this on his facebook wall. I think it merits posting here: “Ironically the change India needs starts with India’s mothers! Indian moms model to your sons YOUR worth, don’t manipulate yours sons and stop being manipulated!! Be mothers that demand respect!. Mothers, IT’S NOT OK to be abused at home, IT’S NOT DISLOYAL to report an abusive husband! Mothers, IT’S NOT OK to send your daughters back to abusive husbands…Women Value women! Mothers teach your sons!!!” Jesus have mercy on India and Indian women; Indian mothers and Indian daughters. Jesus have mercy on Indian men; Indian fathers, sons, brothers. Jesus have mercy on us all.

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    1. Build up mothers, challenge them with truth and love, provide opportunity and the entire society benefits. Thank you Robynn. This must have hit so close to your heart.

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