Pets – Marilyn R. Gardner

On Hedgehogs and Happiness

Published on May 30, 2014May 30, 2014 by Marilyn11 Comments

Our daughter, Bronwynn, was recently given a hedgehog named, Bella. A friend once described hedgehogs as “unspeakably adorable” and it’s true. Bella is perky and precocious. With curiosity in every expression, Bella, approaches life with expectation and a sense of adventure.

Bella brings me happiness. And I think she could school us all in a little joy.

Bella expects to find something each day. She wears curiosity with confidence. What might the world give? What gifts might she receive?

Bella takes joy in simple things. Her favorite toy is an empty toilet roll! It’s really just a simple cardboard tube but she attacks it with enthusiasm each time. She pushes her head into it enthusiastically and pushes it around. If you try to take it off her head she gets a little annoyed.

Bella doesn’t really like getting a bath but she endures it for the joy of a good belly rub! She huffs and puffs and growls and groans until it’s over…but when the belly love begins she settles down with sweet contentment. She relaxes. The hard part is over. Let the party start. Her breathing slows and she nearly always falls asleep, a happy, happy hedgehog.

Underneath the quills and hard prickly exterior, Bella is a tender creature. She wants you to think she’s quite fierce….a (quite tiny) force to be reckoned with! But if you are brave enough to get close (and every quill on her little exterior dares you not to!) and scoop her up she melts. She settles into friendship. She was needy all along…she just didn’t want you to think so! There is a fragile type of vulnerable joy in that.

Bella experiences some anxiety in new situations. She straightens all her pins and starts to breath heavy, like an old man snoring with a pillow over his head! Her anxiety rarely lasts long. She adjusts. She accommodates a new sound, a new experience, a new scent. Soon, and it doesn’t seem to take her too long, she relaxes and begins to explore again. I suspect the new and scary moments seem long to her. She makes all types of protesting sounds. But from our taller perspective, looking down at her wee world, we can see an end. The dog will walk past, the vacuuming will be done eventually, the bath will be over, the television will be turned down. The trouble will end. Our perspective accommodates the broader picture, the bigger reality. We don’t stress over her agonies because we know they are temporary. She will get through this. Hedgehog horrors come in the evening moments but joy comes in a morning moment.

Bella knows she is loved. She is sure of it. She lives out of that reality. Every morning (or actually night….for Bella is, alas, nocturnal!) she wakes and stretches and gets busy being who she was created to be: A Hedgehog! There is great happiness in that simple purpose.

Do you have pets? How have they schooled you in joy?

Cat Tales – A Review

Published on July 24, 2013July 24, 2013 by Marilyn14 Comments

Growing up, I cannot remember a time when we were without a cat.

Throughout my letters home from boarding school in my earliest years I reference our cat. “How is Frisky” “Tell Frisky ‘hi’ for me”. “What has Frisky been up to?”The only thing I show more affection for in these letters is my younger brother, Danny.

There was Frisky and then there were a series of ‘Old Black Cats’ (OBC we called them) and the stories meld into one another. Stories of cats giving birth and tiny kittens; cats running away and being found – or not; cats traveling throughout the country in a sturdy Landrover — all of these thread my memory tapestry.

And all these stories have come into print form through my mom’s book, Cat Tales. Written for children, the book chronicles our cats and our family adventures with these cats.

There was the time when our cat ran away – we were certain she heard our conversation the night before about leaving for America, and, knowing her beloved family was leaving would have none of it. There was the time when she followed us on a hiking trip in the Kaghan valley; the time when frightened by a friend’s dog, she jumped out of a window and ran into the night – only to be found in a place that housed sacred Hindu cows.

Reading Cat Tales takes me back to a childhood in Pakistan. A childhood of travel and adventure, of goodbyes and hello’s, of train rides and camping in the Himalayan mountain range. I’m allowed to time travel and see more of my mom — a young woman who left a small town in Massachusetts where houses had porches and yards had lush green lawns, where you could walk everywhere. I see a young mom who moved across the world to a newly formed Muslim state, the Islamic Republic of Pakistan; far away from all that was familiar.

Through the escapades of a cat I see more of what it was for her to trust, to fear, to wonder if she and my dad were foolishly putting a family in danger.

I learn how much my mom loved our cats – all of them. I see through the pages of a children’s book a need to create a home and a pet being a part of that need. I experience her feelings of loss as we all left for boarding school eight hundred miles away. I watch her extraordinary relationship with my youngest brother based on the years she had alone with him while we were at school. I laugh as I read about the remarkable lengths she would go to in order to make sure the cats were safe, found when they were lost, cared for when they were sick.

I see a young, growing family and parents who prayed grace over our home from day one.

Madeleine L’Engle says if you want to write a book that adults can’t handle, you write it for children. Maybe I can handle this book and empathize more with my parents’ humanity because the book is written for children.

It’s a rare experience to go back in time through the eyes of another, especially when the other is your mom. And this is the beauty of the printed page, the written word. And so I curl up on my couch with a cup of tea and Cat Tales, going back in time for the final chapter.

Cat Tales is written by Pauline A. Brown and illustrated by Ruth Anne Burke. It is available at Amazon for $8.99

Acupuncture for Pets ? Someone Pinch Me!

Published on March 6, 2012March 6, 2012 by Marilyn14 Comments

“Love these truffles” I said, my mouth full of soft, mouth melting chocolate. “They’re actually from a client of my wife’s” he said. “Wow – so what does your wife do?”

I was unprepared for his answer and knew I had found a blog post. His wife combines an East/West technique and makes home visits to do acupuncture for pets. Someone pinch me. Tell me that this isn’t real.

And though I have become quite adept at hiding my feelings about some of these things and pride myself that I am becoming more of a diplomat by day (though by night I blog about that which I am diplomatic about by day) I could not keep silent. “Oh wow! That is probably one of the worst occupations that someone who grew up in the developing world could conceive of” I said.

Acupuncture. Pets. House calls. Juxtapose this with our country’s failing health system, limiting treatments and procedures based on an insurance plan, and an ever decreasing number of primary care physicians – particularly in needy areas.

Acupuncture.Pets.House calls. I wondered as I walked to the subway, passing garbage on this side, two homeless people on the other; the man bent to half his height through a degenerative disease in front of me, every step a painful reminder to him that he was a slave to his body, was I the only one who was naïve and unaware of this occupation, of this niche need?

So I did the Google. And the Google told me things I didn’t want to know. The Google informed me that a particular vet in California “understands that every being is a sacred expression of LOVE. Our relationships with all other beings is where this LOVE blossoms. As we CHOOSE to focus our time and energy on growing these relationships, the world is a more loving place.” (emphasis – hers) The highest priority is to “promote the relationship between people and their 4-legged companions” and evidently a way to do this is through acupuncture. These are not just 4-legged companions, they are “4-legged beings of love”.

Now I recognize that animals are amazing. We have two cats who we love, one Siamese with snow paws who hails from a Mormon family in Phoenix, and the other, a feisty rescue kitty with a bit of attention deficit disorder. And I will cuddle with these kitties, and I will feed and water them, change their litter and enjoy them. Animals can be used in remarkable ways to bring companionship and healing, but acupuncture for pets? I can’t get my head around it.

I don’t feel malice towards the woman. She’s living up to what our country promotes: she is an entrepreneur and has found a particular place for her skill, her niche to make a living. House calls allow her flexibility while her children are young and she can work the hours she chooses. What I cry against with my whole being is that this is something that people in this country consider useful, necessary even, for their pets. What I struggle with is the loneliness and lack of community that many feel, even as others, bound to their 4-legged beings of love, are increasingly secluded with their pets in large houses of gated communities.

What about you? What are your thoughts? About pets….about acupuncture for pets…and about western culture elevating the status of our pets, even as we demean our fellow humans? Finding solace with pets alone as opposed to seeking out others in community. Pets used to be a great way to help teach kids compassion, now the compassion and care sometimes feels confined to the pet alone, never extending to those who bear 99% of our genetic code. Would love to hear from you through the comments.