Rethinking the Veil

Pakistani Family

Today I’m honored to be a part of “Let’s Talk About Hijab” – a series that Rachel Pieh Jones began over a month ago. You can find Rachel’s work all over the web, but her home space is Djibouti Jones – Life at the Crossroads of Faith & Culture. She is one of my favorite writers so to say I am honored is an understatement. Enjoy and make sure to take a look at the excellent essays that have come before mine. 

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In May of last year Dr. Leila Ahmed, a well-known professor at the Harvard Divinity School published a book A Quiet Revolution: The Veil’s Resurgence from the Middle East to America. The idea for the book was born one evening in the late 1990’s when Dr. Ahmed was walking with a friend in her Cambridge neighborhood. As they passed by a park, they noticed a group of women, all in hijab.

Dr. Ahmed was raised in Egypt during the fifties and sixties. At this time in Egypt, the veil was rarely seen – not only in Egypt, but also in other Muslim-majority countries. That particular evening, she was shocked and disturbed to see the hijab, symbolic to her of patriarchy and oppression, fully alive; revived and walking in her neighborhood. More shocking was to see the hijab worn in a country that allowed freedom of expression in both speech and dress…… Read more here! 

Let’s Talk about  Hijab

Why Doesn’t Your Wife Wear Hijab? by Anita Dualeh

Hijab: Definitions

Hijab: the Universal Struggle by Pari Ali

Asking the Right Questions by Afia R. Fitriati

Through the Eyes of Children by J.R. Goodeau

Challenging Assumptions

This piece was first posted in February of 2011, soon after I began blogging. I was reminded of it recently when a favorite blogger of mine, Rachel who writes at Djibouti Jones as well as various other places on the web, began a series “Let’s Talk About Hijab”. I love what she is doing with this topic, inviting several voices into the conversation. And here is a glimpse of my perspective.

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In my adult life, I have often been asked questions about Muslim women, more often than not put in a defensive position as I speak to what I know and have experienced. In everything from the hijab or burqa to a view of family and work, western women are curious, incredulous, or judgmental   

While I am in no way an expert, I am privileged to have life experience that included growing up in Pakistan until I was 18, and living in both Pakistan and Egypt as an adult for a total of 10 years. What is most important to me in my conversations is challenging the assumptions that are made through limited contact and knowledge of the Muslim world, more specifically women in the Muslim world.

I grew up with Muslim women surrounding me and friendships developed at early ages, some that continue to this day-but I am always aware that my words and thoughts are inadequate to the complexity of their role on the local and world stage. There is one thing I can say with surety: one of the first assumptions to be challenged is that Muslim women are monolithic. The diversity at every level is astounding and the image often conjured up of a fully veiled woman walking behind her husband is only occasionally correct.

It is because of this inadequacy that I continually read books and articles, but more importantly, ask questions of my Muslim friends.  This is also the reason I was so excited when my husband came home with the book Who Speaks for Islam? What a Billion Muslims Really Think. In an earlier post I wrote about this small red volume and wanted to expand a bit on this today.

The part of the book that is of most interest to me is the section on women.  While I love narratives and they resonate with me, I am aware there are many who want “just the facts”. This study works for the ‘data’ people and has information that cannot be ignored.  Several examples of vast differences in view-point are given.  For example, when western women were asked what they admired least in the Muslim world the response was ‘gender inequality”. Interesting to note is that responses from Muslim women did not include gender inequality. Equal legal right and gender inequality did not appear, rather the three most significant concerns for women were lack of unity of muslims, political corruption and extremism.

Undeniable in interviews with Muslim women was disapproval of the way western women are treated in the west. The perceived promiscuity, pornography, public indecency and lack of modesty were equal, in the eyes of those interviewed, to a degraded status for women.

Even as I write this, I am aware that books can only take us so far, that there is no substitute for relationships to challenge our assumptions and move us into friendships with those who think differently. I have two voices in my head as I write this: my mom – who spent over 30 years in a Muslim majority country; and a woman Bettie Addleton who spent the same amount of time. Both are examples of people who worked to form relationships in a part of the world that was different from the homes in America where they were raised.

In her book The Day the Chicken Cackled: Reflections on a Life in Pakistan Bettie recalls a Halloween party that she was putting on for her family and ours when we were little kids. The party was interrupted by a note from two Muslim women in the town who had heard of Bettie and were curious, and the note stated, “bored stiff” in this smaller town as compared to the larger coastal city of Karachi. Bettie goes on to say this

“Improbably, this single event marked the beginning of a wide network of friendships with Muslim women living in Shikarpur. Their generosity provided a window into a world that I otherwise would never have experienced. Indeed, the young woman …who sent me the note became the closest friend I ever had in Pakistan. She also became a willing and trusted source of information for the many questions I had about customs and traditions of our corner in Upper Sindh.”

Being willing to have assumptions challenged is not easy, but it is critical, particularly in a world often driven by stereotypes posed by the loudest voices on both sides of the divide.

As the quote by Dr. Daniel Brown on the back of Bettie’s book says, we need a balance to media driven images of Pakistan and Muslims” and “an account of real Muslim-Christian encounters that (are) filled with humanity, humor, and hope.”

Guest Post – A Response to “Burqas for Babies”

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAs most readers of Communicating Across Boundaries know, since childhood I have known about  the veil, whether it be the burqa or hijab. Many of my Pakistani Muslim friends wore the burqa, and I watched the hijab grow in popularity during our years in Egypt. I often defend this practice, feeling like the eyes and judgement of the west would best be turned inward rather than being a voice of disapproval toward a practice they know little about.

It was with shock however that I read an article sent to me by a friend  on a recent fatwa (legal ruling) issued by a cleric in Saudi Arabia saying that babies should wear the face veil. ‘Burkas for Babies’ Saudi Cleric New Fatwa Causes Controversy

I immediately contacted one of my Muslim friends and asked her to guest post on her reaction to the article. This article is longer than usual but I urge you to read it – first off because many of you don’t know Muslims – you only know what you read in the newspapers or see on television. Second – I guarantee you will learn something and have a greater appreciation for a faith that may differ from your own.

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24:30 Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
24:31 And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their………..
33:59 O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

These are verses from the Quran. To understand these verses, we have to understand pre- Islamic, Arab society in Mecca. Mecca was the place of pilgrimage for the pre-Islamic polytheists, and Arabs from all over came here to worship, making it a very rich city. The Meccans were an arrogant people. Women and the poor were treated with little respect. Though men had wives and families, prostitution was rife. The rich noblemen visited prostitutes and when a son was born, they drew straws to claim the paternity of the child. Most newborn daughters were buried alive and women did not have any status whatsoever.

Into this scenario, Islam brought modesty and respect for women. Pre marital sex and adultery became crimes. It also established the girl child’s right to live. People were not allowed to kill their female babies. Earlier the Polytheist Arabs used to bury their daughters alive in the burning desert sands, post Islam their daughters had status. They could accept or reject proposals. They could also inherit half the property their brothers inherited, (this is because the money a girl inherits, is hers to spend. No one including her husband and children have any right to it. Moreover, she also receives her meher from her husband and he has to support her financially in every way. The brother on the other hand has to give the meher to his wife, support her from his income despite any wealth she has, support his children, any unmarried sisters and his widowed mother.) Therefore what the daughter receives compared to the son is fair and just. Men twist it to mean that a woman is less than a man in Islam, which is not true.

Islam also gave great emphasis to certain character traits, which had to be compulsorily developed in any Muslim, man and woman. Chief among these were modesty, humility, generosity, kindness, justice, fortitude and patience.

Many verses were revealed about these qualities. The verses which obligate modesty are the ones above among others from the Quran Chapter 24:30,31

Verse 30 exhorts men to lower their gaze and Verse 31 says the same to women. The verse for women goes further though, as it tells women to cover their bosoms and not to show their beauty and ornaments except what appears ordinarily, except to the men who are their mahram (close relatives one is not permitted to marry).

Ayat 59 in chapter 33, regarding the covering, was revealed when some women complained to the prophet of eve-teasing. Muslims lived in a mixed society much as they do now and as such it was a dress code that said “I am a modest believing woman”. Also any Muslim man would recognise a Muslim woman and protect her. A Muslim is certainly not supposed to molest her or make unseemly comments or passes. Nor, as per the previous verse, is he supposed to look with desire or lust upon a non-Muslim woman much less molest her.

There are those who say that women get molested because of the way they dress, but in Islam you are only responsible for your behaviour. When the Quran has told Muslim men they have to lower their gaze, then they have to lower their gaze, irrespective of how any woman is dressed. They are only responsible for their own gaze, not for any woman’s dress or lack of.

Men cannot take one verse and force it upon women and disregard another verse which relates to themselves. Islam simply doesn’t work that way. For all Muslims these are Divine decrees and not following any is a sin.

There are disagreements between those who interpret the verses of the Quran regarding the prescribed covering of women; according to the majority, hands and faces are not to be covered, while some insist that the woman has to be covered from head to toe. Covering though, does begin only after puberty. Women of Abrahamic faiths used to wear a robe and cover their hair in a scarf for millenniums, much as Muslim women do today.

No society or religion though, has ever asked babies to be covered. It is disgusting that a society that professes itself as religious, should in anyway, be so degenerate that innocent little babies are not safe from their lustful and depraved thoughts and actions. Looking at babies with sexual desire is so reprehensible, nobody can ever condone it. What happened to modesty and lowering of one’s gaze? Personally, I believe very strongly in the hijab of the mind.

There are some questions I am asking myself? Does a baby go out on its own? No, of course not! A baby can only go out when it is accompanied by an adult, usually the mother. In this case, how does a baby, which is accompanied by someone close to it, get molested outside the house? So where has this baby been molested and by whom and if it is someone close to it, even someone who by every law is its protector, then how would covering it up, help?

The question of health too occurs to me. Lack of Vitamin D is very common in many countries among women who are either housebound or then cover themselves completely. How would the bones of a child develop if they were covered from head to toe when they were outside?  How would a growing child play and enjoy all the things that is a child’s right by the innocence of their nature, to enjoy? I follow my religion because it makes a lot of sense to me and when something goes against nature’s design, which I only think of as God’s Design and Plan, then it doesn’t make sense to me. Covering any human being up in a way that will deprive them of their nutritional and health needs doesn’t make sense to me.

Instead of bundling women and children and even babies, should not some way be found instead to control the lusts of men, which are not just uncontrolled, but crossing every limit of decency? Shouldn’t the protectors of faith see to it that the right teachings are received by Muslim men, so that as believing men such a thought doesn’t even enter their heads.

Instead of punishing women by pushing them behind burqas, even the Quran has not prescribed for them and punishing babies, why don’t these learned protectors of faith, find a way to teach the men who practice these pervert acts that go against the laws of God, Nature, and man the right religion?

The writer of this post is a poet, photographer, and contemplator of life. She blogs at Weaving Tapestries. 

Victoria’s Ethnocentric Secret – The Blue Bra

The title is compelling and sits in the faith section of the Washington Post, a respected mainstream media source. Who wouldn’t want to read “The Blue Bra Revolution”…so sexy…such a feminist idea….so Arab Spring,  but with that edgy, cool twist that the western audience craves.

And that’s the problem with the piece. The article is referring to an incident that took place in Cairo during a recent protest. A young woman was attacked and in the course of the attack her abaya was pulled away, fully exposing a blue bra. The author writes:

“Aside from the sheer brutality, I think what got to me was that she was wearing this gorgeous, sexy bright blue bra. Under her abaya. There was something so shocking about it, so unexpected. This person covered from head to toe demonstrated her beliefs through her choice of underwear. The blue bra said what I imagine her to be feeling: ‘I may be oppressed. I may not have rights. I may have to cover up my body and face. But you cannot destroy my womanhood. You can’t rob me of my femininity. You can’t take away my power.'” (Sally Quinn – The Washington Post 12/29/11)

I will not deal with the obvious wrong in the act against the Egyptian woman. There is no question that the force, violence, and resulting embarrassment was a violation and should be condemned. What I take issue with is the ethnocentrism and cultural imperialism that colors the entire article, an article penned by an outsider.

Through the author’s cultural lens we are given a passionate picture of a woman, oppressed, put down, forced to wear the abaya and hijab who in a courageous gesture wears a lacy blue bra. “The real her” The lacy, sexy, woman put down by men, forced to a life that screams “Let me out!”. “I may be abaya on the outside, but I’m Victoria’s secret on the inside!”  Wow. That doesn’t sound like the Egyptian women I know and love. It sounds like a stereotypical viewpoint that will now enjoy renewed support through this article.

The author is indulging in what has become the favorite pastime of many Americans: Interpreting and then prescribing meaning to the behavior, dress and inner cry of women and others in the Muslim world. Cultural imperialism much?

But that’s not enough. After indulging in the diatribe, in an unexpected leap she moves on. Her next victim? Mary Magdalene. She speaks of a new book (“brilliant” she calls it) that looks at the life of Mary Magdalene and argues that Mary Magdalene could well be the lover of Jesus.  The book imagines a conversation between Mary and Peter, the apostle. “You never truly saw nor knew me. You took the garments that I wore to be me, but you never recognized my true self.”  And then the lament by the writer of the Washington Post article “If only Mary had had a blue bra”

At this point, you as the reader (who have read some of my rants) know that I had enough. When will we in the west stop prescribing our culturally based views of freedom on the east? When will we, instead of pointing the finger, take a hard look at our culture and the things that we consider keys to freedom, and be willing to say “maybe we need to reconsider this”. When will we stop condemning the veil and abaya, pieces of clothing that are sometimes forced, and other times worn willingly,prescribing feelings and thoughts to the women who wear them when we have never spoken to them, we have never asked them? When will we stop whining about the veil and start speaking out against hook-up culture? What is our obsession with forcing our views of freedom down other people’s throats? When will we cease to re-write the stories of characters of the Bible to suit our insatiable appetites for sex and seduction? Freedom indeed!

Most of all, when will we display cultural humility, that “life-long commitment to self-analysis and critique” that would, instead of assuming the values and thoughts of another, ask!  And if the person is not available to be asked, as in the case of the Egyptian woman who has not yet come forward (and may very well not), not imagine her thoughts. After all – unlike Mary Magdalene, who can’t defend herself as she is dead, this woman is alive and perhaps even reading western media.

I was too upset. I needed help. I needed another opinion. So I sought it through my friend Lois. Lois has walked through life with me and knows my biases and quirks. She also sees the Muslim world through the lens of having grown up in the country of Jordan. Lois was the one who came up with the words that I couldn’t grasp, so passionate was I.

It is the need to interpret things through our own cultural grid that is troubling, and then the need to fit Christianity into a modern gridwork, and just how we try to alter things to fit our own filters.  It seems that instead of communicating across boundaries, it is easier to bring things within our own boundary of time and culture and interpret them from within those confines of safety.” And that was it. She got it.

When we choose to communicate and interpret only through our bias, we assign meaning to actions that could be way off base. When we ascribe viewpoints and feeling to people from an ethnocentric lens as opposed to a lens of cultural understanding we are on dangerous ground – no matter what respected media source we write for.

Bloggers Note: I urge readers to take a look at the section on women in “What a billion Muslims Really Think”. I believe it’s an important book and could be an eyeopener for many.  There are also a couple of other blog posts that you may find interesting. Another note, the term cultural humility was coined by two physicians, Melanie Tervalon and Jann Murray-Garcia as they looked at developing multicultural education for physicians. The concept is a good one and one that my colleague and I use often in cultural competency workshops. Read more here.

  1. On Burqas, Hijabs, and Charlie Sheen
  2. Challenging Assumptions
  3. Books that Inform

Amid Violence Against Women A Blue Bra Sends a Blue Bra Sends a Powerful Message 

On Burqas, Hijabs & Charlie Sheen

Bloggers Note: Warning: This is a post in which I rant instead of making a thoughtful argument. Read at your own peril.

I need help here. I need someone to explain to me why the west freaks out over Burqas and Hijabs but thinks Charlie Sheen’s behavior is worth a spot on a major network. I need someone to explain to me because I’m having a cultural disconnect.  I need someone to guide me through the thinking process of a nation that turns its back on Libya and it’s enslavement through a cruel narcissistic dictator, but embraces the public viewing and story of the sick habits of a narcissistic misogynist called Charlie Sheen. I am longing for an explanation from Jeff Jacoby of the Boston Globe on how he justifies that we deserve democracy but Egypt does not based on their treatment of women. I want him to walk me through his logic of why a country so voyeuristic that it is glued to news stories of this pitiful excuse for a man deserves democracy and Egypt doesn’t. Is it any wonder that a good part of the Muslim world when interviewed sees us as morally bankrupt?

What is wrong with us and why do we put up with it? After all, no one is making any of us turn on the television. It’s not state-run TV that forces propaganda into our living rooms – or is it? No I know it’s not state-run, but what kind of idiotic propaganda about men, women, children and life is making its way into our homes and we, desensitized to valuable news that can inform and guide, begin thinking this is worth watching? What are we, what am I, letting into our homes that has a subtle but dangerous effect on how we live our lives and what we think about?

Let’s just suppose for a happy second that a news network besides PBS would set aside major time to do an informative, substantive, non-biased interview with Muslims, or more specifically Muslim women.  It strikes me that a major network show depicting women in Hijab or Burqa, interviewed, explaining their world view could actually help our nation and guide us collectively into more understanding of a part of the world that we at best misunderstand, and at worst, grossly stereotype with freely expressed misconceptions. Imagine networks that were willing to see behavior like that of Charlie Sheen’s and Lindsey Lohan’s as sick, and not news worthy.

Hundreds of people are dying in Libya, having courageously fought to bring about change. Hundreds of thousands want a society that is free of a cruel dictator and allows more freedom. And we sit around and enjoy our freedom by sitting on our couches, increasing our obesity and inactivity levels, thus raising our healthcare costs, and watch….Charlie Sheen?  This is freedom? Wow America! We really do need a wake-up call.

“If there’s a symbol of everything wrong with television news, it’s the focus on Charlie Sheen. Here we have America caught in historic budget debates that could lead to a shut-down of government, and the Middle East is in the midst of an equally historic democratic uprising — and TV “news” is giving a microphone to a fallen drug user with serious personal issues? It all makes me embarrassed for the news media.” Nicholas Kristof Facebook status update, 3.1.11