A Larger Life and a Smaller Self

20130128-081954.jpgMy 53rd Birthday held little time for reflection — A hangover from Saturday night’s laughter, church, birthday cake…. all good, not much time for quiet.

Reflection came this morning as I wrote down all that I have. From a job with good benefits to a home with warmth; from a loving family to friends around the world — I am beyond blessed. I am acutely aware of this. Daily I see people like Cheryl who sleep in the streets, trying to get into a shelter but unable to stay sober for long enough to meet the criteria. Daily I’m confronted by those who have less – and those who need more. And daily I enjoy my creature comforts.

I don’t say this in guilt – that would do no one any good. I say it because it is fact.

But even as I list these graces, these gifts of life, the words nag me as they sit at the base of my brain and echo to my ears “But to whom much is given….to whom much is given….much will be required….much will be required”.

I read the words of G.K. Chesterton that I have underlined in the journal where I record grace on grace. “How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it?” As the words echo from ears to brain to heart and back, I know I long for a larger life and a smaller self. I long to cry with the mom who is hurting, exhort the man who needs affirmation, challenge the child who has fallen. I long to break free of grey cubicle constraints and soar in faith beyond what is seen. I long for Jesus to take me, the troubled time-waster, the aging clay, and mold me to reflect more of the image of God. Imago Dei.

I want a Larger Life and a Smaller Self.