Development – Marilyn R. Gardner

Women in Hebron by Stefanie Sevim Gardner

Published on June 5, 2014 by Marilyn14 Comments

My daughter Stefanie returned from a 3-week study trip to Israel and Palestine this past Monday. We have delighted in her stories, oohing and ahhing over her pictures, and in general vicariously taking part in this amazing trip. Today she has given me permission to use an essay she wrote for her team. May you enjoy this piece as you travel with her to Hebron, a place where people like Layla daily face the realities of occupation. Please feel free to interact with Stef through the comments.

Hebron - Stef with Layla Women in Hebron by Stefanie Sevim Gardner

On any given day, the winding alleys in the city of Hebron are full of shopkeepers selling scarves, spices, and everything in between. The colors, smells, and sounds keep your senses busy. There is so much beauty and life to soak up. One shop in particular doesn’t catch your eye at first glance, but the story behind the shop is unforgettable. The shop owner’s name is Layla Hasan. She is Muslim, a mother and a grandmother, and she happens to be the only female shop owner in Hebron.

Layla works with Women in Hebron, a non-profit that employs a few hundred women through the production of handcrafted goods. Women in Hebron’s website says the following: “Our work is based on the idea that developing Palestinian handicrafts is more than just an income-generating project. It is in of itself an act of community-strengthening, of honoring the role of women in our society, and a means to show sumud – steadfastness – in the face of the occupation of Palestine and the harm it has done to the people of Hebron.”

Our group spent the day in Hebron and saw this quote personified through Layla and the life she has created. Layla led us to her home, made of old stone that kept us cool from the Middle East heat. We sat on intricately designed cushions that lined the room as she served us a home cooked meal made of rice, chicken, cauliflower, and potato. With each empty serving, Layla would come over and pile our plates with double the amount that we had already consumed, insisting that we continue eating. She sat and talked with us as her granddaughters snuck peeks through the doorway and laid their heads on her lap.

Hebron - Layla's home

Layla’s genuine Arab hospitality came through serving us food and tea as well as entertaining us with laughter and good conversation. Layla told us about her family. Her daughters live in nearby villages and her sons are in jail for attempting to work in Israel proper, because finding jobs locally can be difficult. She told us that her father and husband never approved of her working, preferring her to remain a homemaker. Layla defied their expectations, however. In jest she quoted to us a phrase that is embroidered on hand purses in her shop: “Men can do something. Women can do anything.” Though laughter accompanied this statement, it is one that holds true to her life. Layla said it is not easy to be the only female shop owner nor is it easy to work when the prominent male figures in her life do not want her to do so.

Layla helps provide life and prosperity for the women she employs, despite the fact that the odds are against her in a male-dominated society. Layla doesn’t brag or boast, but happily speaks about her life and shares her stories to those who will listen. Every day, she works in her shop and carries out the mission of Women of Hebron: to provide a place for community strengthening where the role of women is honored and represented. Despite the tumultuous state of Hebron, Layla brings hope to her community, and as the hand purses that she creates assert, no matter what odds are against them, “Women can do anything.”

Hebron - This is Palestine

To read more about this organization and the work they do head to Women in Hebron: A Palestinian Women’s Embroidery Cooperative. Also stay tuned for more photographs from Stef in a future post.

You Can’t Empower Those You Pity

Published on March 12, 2013March 28, 2013 by Marilyn28 Comments

“The White Savior Industrial Complex is not about justice. It is about having a big emotional experience that validates privilege.”~ Teju Cole

It was after we had been in Pakistan a week that I realized, despite the bleak surroundings of still present flood waters, mud and brick homes that would have to be rebuilt from the foundation up, and scarcity of basic supplies of food, that not one time had I felt pity for anyone we met.

I had come back to Pakistan after seeing my childhood home, Jacobabad, devastated by flood waters in the fall of 2010. Seeing the New York Times picture did a number on my soul and a few weeks later I was on the ground in Pakistan, and my heart was in Heaven.

Every day we were surrounded by women and children. Women in brightly embroidered shalwar/kameez with dupattas gracefully draped over their heads. Children of every shape and size, some picked on by older siblings; others naughty as can be, into all sorts of laughter and mischief; older teens, slightly more self-conscious but curious and eager to ask questions and observe.

Their resilience was remarkable. Their ability to withstand this devastating flood courageous. They were so much better than me – there was nothing to pity.

We laughed until our sides ached; cried until our souls felt crushed; raged at poverty and injustice; got excited at seeing a mom learning how to care for a wound; felt joy as we watched women and children gather around when we arrived; and each day at the end of a long, hot clinic, we were satisfied. We were not leading – we were being led by a dedicated and gifted team of Pakistanis. I had been on many trips to serve in the past – yet this was the first time I had been on a service trip where I was led by someone from the country where I was serving.

And not once had I felt pity for those who came into our lives.

Maybe that’s why this trip was going so well — because pity doesn’t help. You can’t empower those you pity.

Pity insults. Pity humiliates. Pity sees others as ‘less than’ not ‘equal to’ or ‘above’. While compassion is a vital part of love and moves us to action, pity looks on as a superior bystander.

In the last few years a conversation has started about what is termed the “white Saviour complex” – when people like me get on planes and go to places like Pakistan, thinking they are going to save the masses from starvation, devastation, and Hell, trips that are sometimes made of pity for the less fortunate. And there is merit to what has been said. Teju Cole wrote a challenging and provocative piece about this last year soon after the Kony 2012 video went viral. It was a piece that first made me cringe, then made me angry, and finally made me nod in agreement.

Too often we go with heads and egos held high. Too often we want to serve instead of to learn. Too often we pity those around us. Too often we decide what those around us need – instead of asking them what they need.

So what do we do – just stop going? No – I don’t think so. But asking ahead of time what is needed is imperative. Realizing that we don’t hold all the answers is critical. Humility of heart and body must be present in all we do.

If we go with pity and seeing ourselves as doing any ‘saving’ then several things happen: We burn out, unable to last long. We subconsciously want to be thanked and praised. We fail to respect the very people we have come to serve, instead seeing them as incapable of being partners and leaders. We don’t acknowledge the bigger problems behind those that are visible. We don’t acknowledge God as God – and us as human.

I know a post like this just begins the conversation about service. It’s a big topic, but as churches and other organizations around the country get ready for summer service projects, gear up to ‘go’, it behooves all of us to dig deep and ask the hard, but important question – Why, really, are we doing this?

And If we go? Our charge is to go in humility, with a heart to learn; never to go out of pity and above all, know we are not, will never be, the Saviour.

“There is much more to doing good work than “making a difference.” There is the principle of first do no harm. There is the idea that those who are being helped ought to be consulted over the matters that concern them.” Teju Cole in The White Saviour Industrial Complex

A Tree Grows in Kenya

Published on December 5, 2011December 5, 2011 by Marilyn2 Comments

‘Tis the season of wrapping paper, ribbons, and gift cards. It is a season marked by 450 Billion dollars in spending, rum infused eggnog, and massive returns the day after Christmas. It is a season of glittering lights that bring a sense of magic, and deep depression as demonstrated by the increased number of therapy visits during holiday seasons.

This is Christmas. Advent is a different story altogether. Advent is expectation and longing, hope and joy. In the spirit of Advent I want to highlight a way to give that may not reflect the material things of Christmas but reflects Advent beautifully.

It’s bigger than a breadbasket, costs less money than a gift card, and is longer lasting and more valuable than a diamond ring. It is half a world away, but you see one every day. It is simultaneously exotic and practical. It is giving at it’s best. It’s a tree in Kenya!

In my post In Praise of Green Space I contrasted the beautiful green space of London with the absence of green space in Cairo or Karachi. I highlighted my brother Ed’s work at Care of Creation and his love and promotion of green space. It is in the country of Kenya where the work of Care of Creation began, through the vision of a man name Craig Sorley and my brother, Ed Brown. Sorley is an environmentalist and was featured in Time Magazine in 2008 as a hero of the environment. Both Craig and Ed have an urgent and compelling message, that of caring for our earth, our world. They believe there is a direct call to care for creation based on God’s clear love of creation as evidenced in the Bible. Once people catch a vision of caring for the earth, the call is for direct action around planting trees, harvesting water, and farming land. You can read a far better description of the work of Care of Creation here but I want to highlight the planting trees part of the action.

Ten trees can be given for only $12.50. So little for so much. $12.50 for a legacy of trees, a solution to what is described by Care of Creation as “rampant deforestation, leading to droughts, floods, soil erosion and increased human poverty and hardship, as well as loss of habitat for animals and birds.” And planting trees is part of the solution to what has become a huge problem.

A tree grows in Kenya – a tree grows and a forest is rebuilt. A tree grows and land is replenished. A tree grows and a family has an occupation. A tree grows and a world is changed.

So this Advent season, if you want to do something a little different, remember that a tree grows in Kenya.

Here is information on how to give trees this Advent season: PLANT TREES IN KENYA. Remember: 10 trees for $12.50! You can even add a gift card! For some remarkable pictures take a look here.