Six years ago, Marilyn Gardner picked up her metaphoric pen and she began to write. Her written voice called us together. We connected with her story. There were issues she highlighted that we were passionate about but for which we lacked language. There were hidden things we hadn’t considered until she pointed them out to us. She dared us to Communicate Across Boundaries. Marilyn brought us to tears and she made us laugh at her foibles and at our own fuss ups.
Marilyn has served as a sign post in a crowded spot. She stands straight and shows us things we need to see. Marilyn invites us to notice the invisible. She insists we stop and make eye contact with those that are different than we are. Issues we’d rather sweep away—because they make us squirm, or because they’re inconvenient or awkward –she walks right over to those things and asks that we hold steady in our unsettledness. She invites us to meet the refugee, the newly arrived immigrant, the homeless person on her street, the violent man on her subway. She’s takes us with her to Turkey and Egypt; Pakistan and India. We’ve been with her in refugee camps and in coffee shops.
Quick to laugh and quick to cry, Marilyn has a tender heart. She loves well and without judgement. Her own story has been pockmarked with suffering and personal pains and consequently she knows intimately the deep salve of grace. She’s generous with it. And I love that about her. She pours coffee or tea or wine with ease. She delights in tasty morsels and makes the simplest sweet into an excuse for joy and celebration. I can hear even now her, “oooh! Let’s have….,” and I want to rush over to see what she’s cutting into!
One thing I really admire about Marilyn is that she writes her own story. She’s never betrayed another :–not her children, her husband, her family or her friends. She’s a loyal wife, a protective mother, a respectful daughter and a kind friend.
Don’t get me wrong—Marilyn isn’t perfect! I’ve seen her exasperated, angry and annoyed. I’ve heard her cuss and stamp her feet. She can be sarcastic and cynical at times. But I suspect it’s these very qualities when redeemed that reveal injustice and discerning insight to her world and to us.
These are dark days. Things are grim. More than ever we need people like Marilyn that will take a stand against injustice. People that raise their eye brow questioning the American dream. People that prophetically point out that things aren’t all hairspray and glimmer and shine. People that are willing to own their white privilege and look around for ways to align themselves with the oppressed and the marginalized. People like Marilyn—who do all that in high heels and lip stick!
Here’s to Marilyn Gardner, the founder and not-so-quiet Queen of our far-flung Communicating Across Boundaries community! Happy Birthday Marilyn! We wish you much joy as you come to realize how deeply beloved you are!
(Your much younger friend and CAB contributor also wishes you fresh pakora, a cup of hot chai, some Italian gelato, a quiet moment, lots of laughter, a good curry, and a really big spoonful of Nutella!)