A few years ago, a good friend and I were talking about our children. How we loved them, how we were exasperated by them, how we struggled to parent well, mostly how we hurt when they hurt. She talked about a quote she had read somewhere, that when we have children we wear our hearts outside our bodies.
We walk with our hearts outside our bodies.
I later found the full quote: “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”*
Think of the heart, the most important organ in our bodies. Our hearts make sure the rest of our cells and other vital organs get oxygen in order to function effectively. They are well protected behind skin, muscle, and the strong bone barrier of our rib cage — it takes a bullet to get to our heart.
That’s the physical heart. That other heart, the heart that holds our love and emotion is not so well shielded. And with the coming of children, any skin, muscle, or ribs that we had lose all their efficacy. We lose any semblance of protective covering; suddenly our hearts are on the outside of our bodies, vulnerable and exposed for all the world to see and hurt, taunt and discard.
With five children, my heart has been outside my body and exposed for a long time. Each child has their own place, their own shape, in my heart. With adult children, I can only witness what they allow me to witness, can only be a part of what they let me see. The range of emotions that I experience are extreme. There are times when the temptation to burst into tears is ever with me; those watery, salty drops at the ready. Other times my joy is palpable. Still other times, I feel angry and rage at these wretched people that I gave birth to. My heart is outside my body.
And I think that’s what happened with God when he decided that we, above all other animals, would be in relationship with him. He put his heart outside his body. He walked with his heart outside his body. He would hurt for us. He would rage at us. He would have compassion on us. And if that was not enough, when he decided to reveal himself through Jesus, his heart was further outside his body.
The heart of God was outside his body. And we broke it.
Gone was any rib cage of protection. Gone was the skin and muscle that could guard. “My God, My God Why Have you forsaken me” echoed to the Heavens. The God of the universe had put his heart outside his body in the form of his beloved Son.
In the most extreme act of love that the world would ever witness, God wore his heart outside his body and all of life changed. It’s an amazing mystery.
In my faith tradition, this week is Holy Week. All week we will remember in a special way this life-giving sacrifice. We will remember that God put his heart outside his body and all of life changed.
Note: This post is a reworking of an old post.
5 thoughts on “With Hearts Outside our Bodies”
Oh my, Marilyn….yes! And Yes again! This piece is full of honest truths, so beautifully written. A blessed Holy Week to you!
For my heart as a mother I have used the metaphor of that stage having dental work when all the nerves are exposed and a tooth is sensitive even to breathing. I feel as the nerves of my heart have been exposed- for nearly 40 years now! Thank you, Marilyn, for another reminder of the nature of the LORD’s heart for His daughters and sons…
I love this.
Thank you so much.