When you’ve reached the end of the road and there is no map — that’s when faith walks.
When you’ve exhausted every plausible possibility, every scenario, every idea — that’s when faith walks.
When you’ve cried every tear there is to cry and your eyes are so puffy, your vision so blurred, that you can hardly see; when you’ve struggled so long and so hard that you are physically exhausted; when you’ve confessed every sin there is to confess and then some, but still there are no answers — that’s when faith walks.
It walks softly and it doesn’t carry a big stick. It walks silently so you hardly know it’s there. It walks when you get up in the morning, when what you’d rather do is crawl under the bed and fade away.
Faith walks when you put one foot in front of the other, take a shower and go out the door. It walks when you sit, mind blurry, feeling like you can’t go on – but you do. It walks when you pick up that phone and call a friend, a counselor, a mom.
Faith walks softly and steadily when day after day you’re not really sure what you are doing, what you are accomplishing. Faith walks bravely when you cry out to a silent Heaven and reach forth to an invisible God.
Faith walks slowly, imperceptibly. It doesn’t run, it doesn’t sprint, it may have arthritic knees and achy bones – but it still walks.
Marilyn R. Gardner 
losing my faith in the humanity of the world as I lost my beloved son, only child, adult ready to move on to his life.
I see to be able to feel God and Nick , a sound, a visual, anything to tell me there is more and I will be reunited.
I wish to die sooner than later. I am truthful in that feeling but not going to act for the love of my son.
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So true. Thank you. I just came out of a time where I lost my faith. Ive always had faith in the Unknown, even in the darkest times, when I was hanging by a string and thought I might end it, I didnt. I had some trust that I would come back to the surface. Even if that semi I was driving next to looked so inviting, if I just speed up a little more and turned the wheel hard… I didnt do it.
Ive had suicidal thoughts much of my life. As I matured, I called it, “Diamond Diving”. Each time I went into the depths, I trusted that I woud find a gem. It became a game. I would find that one thing I needed from the deep to bring to the surface and share with others.
This time, I didnt. It was so dark, I couldnt see anything. Except for work, I had no ambition, no abilty to think or plan and move forward. It was DARK. So much so that I, who had made the choice–3-years ago–to take suicide off my list of options, to reconsider that choice. If not for the love I have for my mom, I might have made the choce to end it. I couldnt imagine doing that to her.
Three weeks ago, my faith returned. I am stil struggling to make ends meet. I am still faced with challenges and uncomfortable situations. AND yet, I wake up each morning feeling a sense of fatih and trust in the Unknown. My life at this moment is a complete Unknown. AND I feel joyful and excited about what is coming next.
I am a blank canvas. God and I, having come out of the depths, are planning a great new adventure, in a new place (I just moved to a new town.)
The Gem I came back with, after this long time in the dark was this… ALL I need is faith, trust and love.
I am that.
I love your blog!! Thank you!
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