In a world of online noise, I often wonder where this space stands, what it can do. More and more, I’ve had to evaluate – does this blog belong? Is it useful? Does it really say anything different or new? I’m not sure. And I’m not looking for compliments when I say that – really!
When I first began blogging, it felt easy. I had so much to say and so little time. And then I realized, every time there was a controversy, everyone wrote about it, whether they were qualified of not. Because in online space it seems that to merely exist is qualification enough. Every time there was a major scandal, millions of voices spoke into the scandal, some screaming for grace, others screaming for judgment.
And I have become so tired.
Perhaps you too are tired. Perhaps you too are wondering where you stand. During the short break I took from daily blogging, I decided that Communicating Across Boundaries would continue. So many of you honoured and encouraged that break. Through comments and messages, you spoke words that were like gifts. And the break was so good. It was so necessary.
But now I’m not so sure about this space.
More and more my prayer as I go forward is that I don’t waste this space. That I don’t waste time – either yours or mine.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote the words below for the online community at A Life Overseas. They are the words I give you today as I think about this space.
My prayer for us today: That we may have Grace in the space between.
Between the taxi ride and checking in at the airport
Let there be Grace
Between the tears of goodbyes and the joys of hello
Let there be Grace
Between a warm bed at home and the halls of boarding school
Let there be Grace
Between Sunday rest and Monday work
Let there be Grace
Between doubt and faith
Let there be Grace
Between grief and laughter
Let there be Grace
Between bitter anger and redemptive reconciliation
Let there be Grace
Between life on earth and longing for Heaven
Let there be Grace
Let there always be Grace in the Space Between
Marilyn R. Gardner 
I’ve been asking myself the same question lately. Why do I write? I become tired and it’s so easy to just chase readers or try to please them with content.
What I do appreciate though is that writing is not (only) for your readers. It is for yourself, to clear your head, to order your thoughts, to speak truth and hope into a messy situation. I have discovered my writing to be a gift to myself. Some things end up on the blog, some of them don’t. Some of them speak to others, some don’t. And that’s okay.
It is not about daily posts or adding your voice to the daily noise of controversies. It is about speaking your heart and mind when the time is right. And if it only means speaking to yourself when you need to hear it the most.
Praying for you as you reconsider this space and your purpose, but please know I appreciate your voice and thoughts – it is so needed in the noise of nonsense out there!
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I totally understand this and feel exactly the same way, Marilyn. It feels like there’s so much noise that I question if anyone can hear anything online anymore – regardless of the quality or content.
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I would so miss your voice in this space because it has been so valuable to me so many times. But only you really know whether this deeply spiritual exercise you chose is still the right one for you, so I will cheer you on whatever you decide. One thought. Change is good (even when we may go kicking and screaming through it), so perhaps a change in frequency of your blog? It may then become again a place you eagerly go to say something you feel compelled to say . . . and we will all be duly notified and VERY happy to read! Might it be that you have met the challenge of a regular spiritual exercise and now could embrace the challenge of a responsive creative endeavor?? No matter what, you’ve made this world better.
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Well you know I don’t want you to quit, but I totally understand needing a break! And you don’t have to blog everyday if that’s too much pressure on you . . . or blog about controversy if that’s too exhausting. (But that’s just my opinion, because I do neither. :) )
To be sure, there is a space for you online. Just be gentle with yourself about how you do it, for your own sake! Much love and many hugs, dearest Marilyn.
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