Early Morning Light

20140623-070611-25571897.jpg

I love my early morning hour, when I am up and no one else is around, save family cats walking to and fro, trying to find their perfect spots for the day. In the early morning hours, a world that constantly shouts is quiet and I can hear a whisper. For a long time I thought it was God who needed a hearing aid, my cries for grace and mercy seemingly ignored by deaf ears and non-reaction. But it was I who needed the hearing aid; my ears could no longer distinguish the true whispers of God from the cacophony of noise in the world around me.

When your ears are tuned to a shout, it’s difficult to hear a whisper.

This morning I sit in a room that feels flooded with light from new living room windows. They are crisp and clean, aglow with the morning. They still need a coat of paint so I have not yet hung the curtains that normally fall, covering half the window. Because of this, they expose more light than normal, broad naked windows allowing all the daylight to flood the room.

We can easily see outside, no obstructed view — and the outside can easily see us. On the one hand I love the light, but the other side of this is that I feel the vulnerability of exposure, of all the world seeing inside our home, our lives.

And yet – I love this light. 

As I sit at my familiar spot, soft couch pillows at my back, open windows to my side and a variety of birds loudly chirping in the early morning hour, I think about the life-truth of what I feel. When I am honest with others I feel the glory of light along with the vulnerability of exposure. I am unguarded, open to criticism and attack, but also open to the joy of real relationship.

I am not one who feels like we need to be emotionally naked with everyone; I don’t feel it’s wise or healthy – and I don’t feel this is true vulnerability. Many of us have had the difficult experience of sharing deeply, wide-open with our fears and hurts, only to be wounded even further. But if we only share with people who we think are safe, we may lose out on growing in ways that we could never imagine.

What I know is true about my windows and light echoes over and over in my faith tradition. There are many verses on light but perhaps my favorite is in the first book of John. This book, the size of three modern-day blog posts, is full of love, light, and truth. In 1 John 7a the author writes this: “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another.” It’s the beauty of relationship that comes from the willingness to let in light.

Today I will probably put up my curtains. Because life is not a metaphor, and real life in the city calls for some degree of privacy. But for now I sit bathed in light, and at peace.

What about you? Where have you found relationship in being vulnerable, in letting in light? 

 

12 thoughts on “Early Morning Light

  1. Curtains are better than walls. Curtains can be readily opened when it feels safe and appropriate whereas walls require painful deconstructing and then repair if we are hurt. Curtains can provide temporary safety when needed, and we can quickly determine the need to open – to let others in or to walk out ourselves. Well done, Marilyn!

    Like

  2. Particularly precious thoughts for those who live in the fish bowl that is missions. Finding and listening to the quiet requires as much intentionality as “opening the windows” of our relationships.

    Like

  3. Come visit me in my log cabin — it’s in the woods; no need for curtains. I loved this. I think we are kindred spirits!

    Like

Add to the discussion...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s