Unfinished Conversations

tea matters 3

We have family visiting this weekend. My younger brother and sister-in-law, my mom and dad, a niece and a baby I just met, another niece.

And with these people who I love comes the wonderful problem of unfinished conversations.

I think you know what I mean. You are with people you love and the words come fast and furious. Sitting around the table eating dinner you jump from one topic to another – first we are talking about family, then a friend, then a situation, then a feeling, then more feelings, then an event that sparked deep growth in our souls – but we are talking so fast and furious we want to get so much in that the conversations remain unfinished. So we see them the next morning and it starts up again over tea and coffee. “Finish telling me about this.” “I wanted to ask you about that.” “When we get a minute remind me to tell you about the other.” It continues through the day and all the activities of the day.

Lunch – another unfinished conversation. Afternoon tea with solid, chipped mugs or fragile, china cups – unfinished conversations. Night time talk over dessert and mint tea – unfinished conversations, more to talk about, more to say and discuss. 

Unfinished conversations – when you have so much to say, but so little time to say it.

Unfinished conversations – when your world includes many people in many places and you always feel like there isn’t enough time to talk about all the things there are to talk about.

Unfinished conversations – when the goodbyes come too soon and you board the plane, tears forming in your eyes thinking “I totally forgot to tell her about that!” When you live far away from the ones you love, and you know in your hearts, there will never be enough time for everything you want to say to each other.

But there is something far worse than unfinished conversations – and that is living close to someone your whole life, be it a family member or neighbor, and never having a substantive conversation. So I will take these unfinished conversations every time – because they tell a story of relationships, real-life lived hard and well, and joy in communicating with people you love.

I better go. An unfinished conversation has just finished taking her shower and I wouldn’t want an electronic device to interfere.

And to you? I wish you many unfinished conversations and the joy and difficulty that comes with them.

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21 thoughts on “Unfinished Conversations

    1. Ah – I love that you love this! Which I know sounds circular and it is! I’m thinking about this past year for you and how it must characterize how you’ve felt!

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  1. I think that’s what’s lovely about blogging and communicating over the internet, you can make time to finish those conversations, no matter where you are in the world. Real life ones though are the best, but for those of us who have distance separating us, the conversation can be carried on…

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    1. Yes! I was thinking about this the other day. About how there is this bit of constancy for the wanderer that has been created by the internet. So when your whole life changes within 24 hours as you move from one coast to another, or one country and nation to another, there can still be this steadying ability to connect online. I know it can be abused and can serve for some as a way to shield themselves from full adjusting, but when used well I think it does the opposite. Thanks Sophie.

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  2. I apply this to our relationship with the Lord….how often I get up and run off after praying and don’t even ‘wait’ for His reply…..thinking of Psalm 23….”the sheep hear my voice and they follow me.” Can we hear our Shepard’s voice midst all the ‘sorting’ we attempt to do in our conversations with people and, so often, miss His ‘still small voice’ saying, “follow me.”

    Thank you so much once again, Marilyn, for your amazing sensitivity into our human need….love you

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    1. Oh – love you Karen! And love how you applied this to connecting with God. Thank you for this insight. I look forward to unfinished conversations with you again – hopefully sooner rather than later.

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  3. Great post, Marilyn! My son was just visiting for too brief a time and I don’t think we ever got a conversation started to be unfinished. Give your folks a hug from me! I can hear their voices clear as a bell in my head.

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    1. Jocelyn – I totally get this. When you can’t get conversations started because there is too little time holds it’s own special pain. Love to you back from my folks. I love that you can hear their voices in your head! We had a great time with them.

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  4. Wish I could sit in and listen to all the conversations during this anticipated gathering. Excited to see the list of people who will be in attendance/ My dream: bring back the Klondike days. Hugs to each one.

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  5. Love this, Marilyn! As you so often do, you put your finger on a much recognized reality that most of us have never stopped to ponder about. For me, these unfinished conversations are the part and parcel of those precious times when all the adult kiddies are home together. Enjoy your visitors!

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    1. Thank you Isabella – so lovely to hear from you. I agree – we are experiencing this more and more from our adult kids. And the times are indeed precious.

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