Last night we celebrated our 28th Wedding Anniversary. We went to a fancy French restaurant called Bistro du Midi and ordered foods that we can’t pronounce; things like “Coral Infused Tagliatelle” and “Gratin Dauphinois”. And it was wonderful.
We laughed and talked and ate. And then we laughed, talked and ate more. It’s that one night of the year where we are guaranteed freedom from the worry of time, money and stress – we simply enjoy.
The night was not magical – but it was lovely. While magical brings up images of Disney and Prince Charming, lovely is an image of real and gritty and lasting. Fake pearls are pretty but not lovely. Real pearls born of irritation in the oyster? Those are lovely. And that is our marriage – it’s the grit in the oyster and the belief that something lovely is being created.
Marriage is an astounding venture. That two people can put aside their selfish ego-centered ways and move forward in one direction is a miracle. That it could be anything other than an act of God’s grace is impossible for me to believe.
Marriage strikes me as a balance of comfort and challenge – to marry that person who is as comforting as warm socks on a cold day and as challenging as a fencing rival is not often the advice that people are given – but it’s my advice.
I recently saw an illustration of this while watching the movie “This Means War”, a clever comedy with Kate (Reese Witherspoon) as the love interest being vied over by two best friends.
As Kate is trying to work through this dilemma, her best friend is a wealth of terrible and good advice. At one point while talking about love and her own husband she says this:
“I know he’s fat and ridiculous. But he’s my fat, my ridiculous. I like the way I am with him. Don’t choose the better guy. Choose the guy that will make you a better woman.”
And I’m pretty sure I chose the guy who’s making me a better woman.
Because of him I have laughed more.
Because of him I have learned to fight well.
Because of him I have had more adventures, gone way beyond my comfort zone.
Because of him I have learned more of God and Grace and Grit.
So to the guy behind the blog, the one that makes me a better woman – Happy Anniversary and thank you!