“I know, I know. You are shocked that I am emailing. So at the risk of being rejected, would you be up for breakfast this Saturday? Breakfast with a side dish of repentance?”
This was the email I sent to my dear friend, a true soul mate, this past week. The truth is, despite our deep friendship and the roads we have traveled together through life, I had not seen her for a year and a half. While I have my excuses, they aren’t enough. I missed her, I needed to see her and I needed to say I was sorry, so sorry, for not guarding and treasuring our friendship.
I realized that repenting was a verb – it needed action on my part to move back into a restored relationship. Relationships take work and they are worth it.
The older I get, the more I realize that these friendships are precious. There are not that many with who I can claim this type of friendship – the “sharing of the soul” without reservation. So if they are precious I need to treat them as such. There were moments when it felt like there was so much to catch up on that I couldn’t do it, it felt like things were too hard to explain or justify.
But as soon as I saw her and we held on to each other, hugging, and saying how long it had been, how much we had missed each other, I knew that I didn’t have to justify and explain. I needed to repent, be forgiven, and move on.
So breakfast was just that. Curled up on a couch we shared hot coffee, fresh strawberries and hot cross buns. I smiled as I thought later about the significance of the choice of hot cross buns. It’s only through the cross that I am capable of admitting wrong and repenting to make it right.
Have a relationship that needs mending? I highly recommend breakfast with a hearty side dish of repentance.
www.facebook.com/CommunicatingAcrossBoundariesBlog
If you’re tuning in to Communicating Across Boundaries for the first time, check out some of these posts others have liked!
- Dull Women Have Immaculate Coffee Tables
- Who Kindled Your Parents??
- The Sun Dial and the Swiss Watch: the Story of a Relationship
- Weather – The Great Social Facilitator
Marilyn R. Gardner 
and did you know that hot cross buns originated at easter time, and they traditionally eat them then in the UK?
also, what do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole??
oh, that was too easy….
LikeLike
Traci, I don’t know you, but I too am a step-mother of over 30 years standing. My moment came when my step-daughter said to me: “I wish I’d had my children call you grandma.”
LikeLike
Aww thank you Wima, what a wonderful thing and how precious! I am so hoping for that day! :) I am sure everyone one of yours are quite precious! Thank you so much for sharing that with me!
xoxoxoox
Traci
LikeLike
Traci, the “step” doesn’t go past the first generation – I may be “Wilma” but they are my grandchildren and I their grandmother.
LikeLike
Thank you again, I think that is just amazing! I always considered my ‘ step’ daughter one of my own, it was beyond that until the split. When she left, my heart broke, it still does, the tears I cry are not ones of a step parent, but are one of a Mother who has lost her daughter. I pray for the day that she understands this…
Thank you so much!
Love,
Traci
LikeLike
This kind of conversation is what makes blogging so worthwhile. Wisdom being shared! Thank you to both of you.
LikeLike
This is wonderful! I had to share, as I always do since you have the MOST wonderful posts!
My stepdaughter for the first time in three years, after me, on the floor crying to Jesus, praying and praying and finally just surrendering! Well, she told me she loved me. Now, does this mean all is healed? No, but it’s still the first time, even casually and I just cried to my husband after, I can’t tell you how long I have waited! Prayers are miracles!
And I am going to my daughter’s graduation as well, she invited me! So, thank you Marilyn for your lovely posts, you touch my heart and breathe wisdom into my soul-i can’t thank you enough for showing me that in life, there truly still is beauty in the Word!
xooxoxox
Traci
LikeLike
Traci – I love these pictures of grace that you share – thank you! I am so thrilled about your daughter inviting you to graduation. Amazing graces…also forgive me for not responding on the blog picture. Will do so tomorrow. I realize I just uploaded it as a picture.
LikeLike
I love you Marilyn, that is all I can say, we have never met, but I still love you, your words touch me, they are more then pens on paper! :)
LikeLike
This gives me something to think about for sure; it is so hard to keep in touch with even those friends that we desperately adore! I am so glad that you got together with your friend, whoever it was, and I have felt the same way recently! I called Brit yesterday to chat and I felt so happy that I was moving closer towards loving her BETTER and fuller!
LikeLike
It is hard – I agree. I think one of the wonderful things is that those are also the friends that we can move on with quickly – we don’t have to wallow in guilt. I guess it comes down to being both intentional and flexible.
LikeLike
Life is beautiful,when you express yourself.Best wishes.
Jalal
LikeLike
Jalal- Thank you for this – and it is beautiful!
LikeLike
I so relate to this post, Marilyn! The busyness of life and the primacy of some needs . . . spouse, children, parents, siblings, work . . . can so overwhelm and define daily routines that leave little time for the friends we hold dear or for the spiritual practices that keep us whole. I sometimes think that this challenge has been my lifelong struggle, to carve out time for all that nourishes my soul. I wonder if others have ideas they could share about how they do this, how they make time for people and practices that nourish in the midst of increasing demands on our time??
LikeLike
Good thought of having others share ideas Cath – and guilt makes it worse. Sometimes I think it is being willing to give each other benefit of the doubt when we don’t hear from someone and recognize that life does move in with demands. Speaking of getting together…lunch sometime?!
LikeLike
I have always felt that with true friends one can pick up the threads just where one left off, even after years. It is a shame though to lose touch with a soul sister. i am glad you got together with your friend.
LikeLike
Ah Pari – thank you! It was truly wonderful.
LikeLike