A New Kind of Mommy Blog

The Myth of Perfect Parenting....

There are some great mommy blogs out in the blogosphere. There is My Baby Experience blog – A mother of one shares baby advice; the How To Mommy – Making Mom’s Life Easier One Post at a Time; there is even Mommy Adventures – a mom with two kids with her latest feature “Hannah Sings the ABC’s.  They are creative, show amazing pictures of picture-perfect children, feature moms who cook, moms who sew, moms who relay clever anecdotes about said children, and moms who make money off these stories. I am not being totally facetious…some of these blogs are remarkable. They are also a means for women to stay at home, while successfully creating a blogging business that helps support their families, and that is no small feat.

But what we need in addition to these blogs is a new kind of mommy blog. Something in the genre of Erma Bombeck. The blog that tells it like it is when those amazing and beautiful toddlers begin to dress themselves, pick their own friends and noses, say things like “you’re ruining my life!” and break their mommies hearts. Erma Bombeck is the mommy that said: “Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.” and “When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.” and “Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.”

Once our kids get to a certain age, we are confronted with the fact that they aren’t perfect, nor are we, and it is a vulnerable position. We know in our heads that neither party ever was perfect, but the way we live belies that knowledge. When we get to those stages, the idea of publicly blogging some of our stories sends chills down my spine.

I call the stories from those toddler years the “Let me go, let me jump, let me hit my lip” stories, they are cute stories without far-reaching consequences.  But when the stories become “Let me go, Let me drink, let me hurt myself” or “Let me go, let me drop out of college” or “Let me go, let me fail calculus” (and the list goes on) we are suddenly in this place of “Who is this person and what have they done with my child?” Not so easy to share those stories.

But those are the stories that need to be shared. Those are the stories that show that God is faithful and big and good and in control. Every time we are willing to open up about what’s really going on with our kids – their hearts, their jobs, their struggles, we find that we are not alone. We recognize that just as we were seemingly hopeless once ourselves, sleeping on couches with minimum wage jobs, making choices that were questionable and had far-reaching consequences, so go our kids. And God did not abandon us. And God will not abandon them.

About a year ago I read an article called the “Myth of the Perfect Parent”. While I usually scan cynically over parenting articles this one was different. From the first paragraph and the authors’ description of being “in the muddy trenches of parenthood” she had me.  One of the points made in the article was that the question “Am I parenting successfully?” needs to be changed to “Am I parenting faithfully?” She goes on to say “Faithfulness, after all, is God’s highest requirement for us”. Changing that one word changes the inner dialogue that often sends accusations, and ‘should haves’ reverberating through the brain like sounds in an echo chamber. The question is no longer about success, a culturally based fleeting variable, and becomes about our relationship with, and dependence on, God.

So about the new kind of mommy blog – maybe a blog is not where these conversations and stories belong. But they do belong with friends we know and trust.

Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures! psalm 19:90

Check out this article – The Myth of Perfect Parenting and weigh in on the conversation!

16 thoughts on “A New Kind of Mommy Blog

  1. I know this is an old post, but I wanted to pipe up and say that we are trying to write just that kind of mom blog at mama nervosa. Check us out if this post/article resonates with you!

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    1. Thanks Lauren! I look forward to taking a look and great that you left the comment so others can take a look as well. Yay for a new kind of mom blog, right?!

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  2. Oh we absolutely need a different kind of mommy blog. My experience with raising children would make a great Hollywood drama/disaster movie. For years I was convinced my children were replaced with pod people.

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  3. Marilyn, we love that picture! I think back to when each of you went away to boarding. No phones, no email, only snail mail, and so many times we felt so far away and so helpless. Someone said, “When all else fails, pray!” Well, we had nothing else but prayer, and those snail mail letters and the packages of goodies to remind you that we still loved you, and you were not alone. God was there and He was still there when we left each of you to make your way through the college years while we went back to Pakistan. God is still faithful and He loves each of them more than we do.

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    1. Thanks mom – so true. By the way, I used to love those packages of goodies! I still remember you did lemon squares, brownies, peanut butter cookies and some other stuff.

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  4. Marilyn, your last paragraph sums it up well. Blogging is a wonderful outlet for learning and venting. Publicly sharing our child’s exploits (good, bad, funny) is not always helpful for the child. I remember a long, long time ago when an MK (not one of mine!!) shared something very personal with me. She pleaded, “Please don’t tell my mom; She’ll give it as a prayer request in the next mission meeting!” Children grow up and in time will share their “own” stories.

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  5. Thanks, Marilyn. Needed to hear this this morning. I find my self dragging my feet on most parenting responsibilities with my 4th and last. At 10 he has not had the attention that his oldest brother had. It is funny that God gave me “faithfulness” for my word of the year, to work on and implement. Learning lots, yet again! Thanks.

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