“I, so and so, do take you, so and so, to be my lawful wedded husband/wife…I also take your family, with all it’s warts and dysfunction. And I take it for better or for worse, and I promise that I will not hold it against you, as much as I may want to….’I now pronounce you husband and wife and part of this extended family, You may now kiss the bride and say hello to your new family'”
I don’t care what anyone says: family is a part of the wedding and marriage process. It is the ostrich that says otherwise and then wonders why there is trouble in the future. I don’t mean that’s where our loyalty should lie. I think it should lie unequivocally with our spouse but to ignore the natural byproduct, called family, is at best unrealistic, at worst plain silly.
This weekend we are surrounded by family from as far as Kazakhstan & Cairo and as close as Chicago all here for the wedding. They are everywhere. Big, little, old, young, fun, serious, intellectual, artistic, contrary, gracious, opinionated, agreeable, cooperative and not so much! As much as there is potential for hurt feelings, frustration or outright conflict, I am grateful. There are 4 large family units involved in our son’s wedding. My husband and I both come from families of 5 kids and Lauren’s parents both come from large families – one with 7 kids, and the other with 4. There are relatives everywhere. Darling, weird, engaging, volatile – all with one thing in common – they belong with this event. They are family.
At the end of the day, despite wanting to run away and having a blog post already started called “When a Mom Locks Herself in Her Room,” I believe in this unit called ‘family’ at the core of my being. My rough edges and tendency to be egocentric, my selfishness and my propensity to see myself as always right, are uniquely challenged through this unit and just as I need grace to live up to my vows with my husband, I need grace to somehow live up to my vows “For Better or For Worse” with family.
- Sibling Love (chicagonow.com)