Tags
Algeria, Boston, Cab driver, Central Square, Cross-cultural, Cross-cultural adjustment, East Boston, Immigrant, Pakistan, Social isolation, Taxi, Taxicab
He was from Algeria and I never found out his name. His taxi had waited on the corner of Mass Ave for who knows how long when I peered in the partly closed window and asked if he could take me home.
I don’t normally take taxis home. It’s a silly expense when home is 12 minutes walking distance from Central Square, but I was running late and my hands were filled with the thin, green, recyclable, plastic bags – signature bags from the super organic and earthy market that I never shop at — but had shopped at.
As I struggled to get out of the car I asked him if he could come back in an hour to take me to the airport. He smiled and willingly agreed.
So I scrambled to get ready, unpacking groceries, writing notes to the family, finding a lone earring here and a hair brush there. Those last-minute things that aren’t that important but feel important at the time.
And as promised he came back. This is when I found out he was from Algeria. He moved to the United States fourteen years ago and lives in East Boston. He drives this cab daily, taking frantic women like me home from grocery shopping, transporting tourists to and from places, and making runs to the airport. Like most cab drivers, he works hard. He doesn’t own his car but leases it, paying the fees out of his daily catch.
We began talking the way immigrants often talk – What was it like when you first came? Did you know English? Where did you live? How did you find work? The questions and answers flowed easily.
At one point he had lived in a suburb south of Boston and we talked about the social isolation of the suburbs, how both of us were lonely when we lived with larger homes and gardens, but less community. “I see people” he said in an accent unmistakably from an Arabic speaking country, “and they make their money and they move. ‘I can live in a house so much cheaper outside of the city’ my friends say. And I look at them and I say ‘But you will be so lonely’ – And they are!”
Along with building malls and lovely houses surrounded by pristine lawns, we have also built walls of isolation, social and physical.
We talked about being strangers in the city and the unlikely sense of belonging that comes with anonymity. We talked about being new in the country, not knowing the rules and having to pretend – pretend that we were happy, pretend that we knew what was going on, pretend that we had it together.
And then we were at the airport and I was grabbing my luggage and making sure I gave a big tip – a tip that showed appreciation not only for his work but also for the conversation. I smiled as I realized I had a deeper conversation with this taxi driver than I have with people who I know far better, who I see every day.
I’ve not seen him again but there have been other ‘cab driver conversations’ – Omar from Turkey, Ahmed from Egypt, Moustafa from Pakistan – they all come with a story, they work hard, none of them own their cabs, all of them face grumpy passengers and long schedules.
But they continue with a tenacity and resilience characteristic of immigrants.
Third culture kids, immigrants, refugees, foreigners… we find each other in unlikely spaces. In the shared experience of being ‘other’ we find belonging and rest, be it in a short ride to an airport or a long-distance phone conversation. These moments of connection seem to come at the right time sustaining us until the next encounter, preventing us from falling into an abyss of self-pity and isolation.
Have you had a ‘cab driver conversation’ recently? An unexpected encounter right when you needed it?
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Just catching up from the month of January…oh how I appreciate reading your posts. Yes, loneliness in the suburbs, for even us born and bread Americans. Enjoyed our cab rides in Cairo while there.
Lou Ann – Thank you so much for this affirmation. And Cairo cab rides are something else – I love them!
The cabs in Chicago are expensive and certainly an extravagance, but I take them several times a week anyway. The conversations are (generally) worth every penny–a treat for myself. And I find it interesting that the driver invariably asks me where I grew up, sensing I’m not the ‘typical American’. What gives it away? I once wondered aloud, and he mentioned my knowledge of other countries, different politics, even my willingness to make eye contact and talk about personal things. Last week I had a driver ask about my accent because he didn’t couldn’t figure it out. I swelled with a bizarre sort of pride at that (blushing as a write this). One of the more amusing discussions was this: http://outtasiteouttamind.com/2012/05/10/its-a-small-world-after-all/
These are people who are ‘used and abused’ by so many who are hurried, demanding, and insensitive. I’ve witnessed people get in a cab, only to look up at driver not dressed in Western gear and decide to exit instead of ‘risking’ the ride. I’ve seen the city police go out of their way to harass these hardworking men (usually men– a few women out there). And I’ve seen more than one person stiff them for their fare: either not paying at all, or not tipping. And I’ve seen drunks get sick in the car, or thoughtless people trash the back seat.
These are professionals who are educated and find themselves in a land which won’t recognize their credentials. They are people sacrificing their own careers, so that their children can have a better education, a better life, a better chance. They are students. They are fathers and uncles and brothers and sons sending money back home to support their families. They are good men.
I take cabs because I support these immigrants. In fact, I see it as part of what it means to be a Christian in today’s world in the city.
(And I’ve gotten my share of marriage proposals by cab drivers too! Ha! I think I’ve had 7 in the last 12 years.)
Marilyn, this is gratuitous of me, but I wanted to share these two with you as well:
1. http://outtasiteouttamind.com/2012/02/15/global-litter/
2. http://outtasiteouttamind.com/2012/11/05/on-american-progress/
Love that you have all these marriage proposals!! Too funny! Your second paragraph hit me in the gut. That’s exactly what I’ve seen. Thanks for the links – great articles – am going to use one of them in my Saturday link-up.
Marilyn if I am ever to write seriously then you are all the trigger I need. Your post reminded me of so many things I can’t begin to tell you.
My dad always spoke to the taxi drivers in Mumbai, usually when we were travelling across the length of Bombay from the North-West suburbs where we lived, to South Bombay. The journey took over an hour and by the time it ended we knew much of the taxi driver’s life story.
Most of them were from the Northern State of Uttar Pradesh and had come to Bombay searching for their livelihood. They lived with or away from their families in the many slums of Bombay. With a different lifestyle, a different mode of behaviour and a different language, it was as good as another country. Though the city yielded a decent income it was still too expensive for many of them to maintain their families here and so the families stayed behind in their towns or villages.
Life for the men and their families was not much different from the life of the workers who come from various developing and third world countries to the Persian Gulf, to seek their livelihood. The men travelled back home once a year. Some probably did not do even that because driving a taxi did not give them paid leave. Some of them leased their taxis while some owned them; decrepit old fiats, if they had ever seen better days it must have been recorded in history. Many of them were Muslims,, some soft spoken, wearing white kurta pyjamas with white beards, whom I and my siblings would address as chacha out of respect for their age.
Bombayites immediately establish a relationship with the person they are talking to; Hawkers are bhaiyya, older people are chacha or kaka depending on their religion, shopkeepers and hawkers and all others who any woman deals with address her as behenji if she is unmarried or bhabhi if she is sporting that all telling sign of marital bliss, the Mangal Sutra. Of course Hindu women also wear the red sindoor in parting of their hair.
I got my habit of talking to taxi/rickshaw from my dad, often shocking my ultra conservative husband.
Well I posted one of the stories on my blog, I think you will like it.
There are so many others. We all have a little drama, many short stories and at least a novel in each of our lives.
I miss my dad!!! Perhaps if I ever write anything I will dedicate it to him; my dad who taught me to care, to ask the right questions and to listen.
LOVE this Pari – and love the tribute to your dad! This comment is amazing! it takes right inside a busy bazaar, picking up a taxi. Thank you.
I’m not sure if self-pity is fair to say. You all really have struggles. You feel the pain and hurt and isolation. While they are not pleasant feelings, nonetheless, you feel them. You still feel period.
I have been an expat for a number of years, it has been a struggle not just adjusting to a new country but then going back and adjusting to one’s own country. I realised that though countries are volatile and you find them dramatically changes when you go back, in some ways you have grown so much mentally and in other ways, become more respectful broadened your thinking, become extremely cosmopolitan, the people back home are in many ways stuck in the same narrow grooves. It is hard to adjust to that and to relearn everything.
When I went back to my country, India for a few years, everything known was gone and I had to relearn to live again.
I think though that struggle is a part of everyone’s lives just in other ways. I know that my siblings too struggle every day they have their problems, I have mine.
That’s interesting…thank you for your honesty and openness. It really inspires me to think beyond myself.
True Sandra – maybe it was too harsh instead of just acknowledging the feeling period. Thanks.
I often do the same. I must say that loving oneself takes just as much work as loving others sometimes.
Today I met a lovely young woman at the bus stop. She is from the Czech Republic. We talked only about mundane things like how the drivers don’t always stop at the right stop and of the fact that I am going to the Czech Republic in October.. I pray she felt warmth and welcome.
October! I so hope to be there
Wilma do you speak Czech?
No, not at all. I am going with a German friend to Marienbad.
Marienbad lovely! I love it, and Karlovy Vary (Carlsbad) so much to do over there, in fact I am planning a blog post for a travel blog on it. Have some good pictures of it. The train journey between the two towns is really beautiful too.
I love this Wilma – you are really good at this. I remember you sharing some other points where you’ve met people and found out their stories. I love that about you. I’ve long wanted to go to the Czech Republic. – Can’t wait to hear how it goes.
One thing I love about taxi conversations is that it was one of the few places where I could have decent conversations with Muslim men and get their perspective on things. I had a great conversation about the North African economic situation while breathing through contractions on the way to the hospital. My husband thought I was crazy, but hey, I would probably never see this guy again and wanted to know his opinion.
Exactly! There’s this appropriate ability to interact like I don’t usually have. Love this story about your conversation with the cab driver while in labor! Haha!
Great post and a confirmation of what I hold to be true: Every person has a story. And we are more alike than we are different.
Another blog I read, an Australian woman with grit and truth and honesty down to her soul, recently started a new series she calls Street Talk, where she chats with folks she comes across. This is the first one http://www.edenriley.com/2013/01/street-talk-noelene-young.html but she also met up with a taxi driver and some other folks and I think you’ll find each post interesting.
Thanks for the link Stacy – I just took a look. Interesting blog! And yes – every person has a story!